What grooms need to know for the Big Day

It’s a running gag that when it comes to wedding planning and the details of such things as flower arrangements, the best thing a groom can do is stay as far out of the way of a fiancé and two mothers as possible. Guys may not always have that much to offer to discussions on flowers, venues, and decor, there are certain responsibilities they can assume for the Big Day.

Help your bride by offering input. In advance of the wedding “planning nuptials” turns to “planning a full-scale event” and can wreak havoc on the couple’s stress levels. Do not lose sight of the fact that the wedding is about you and your fiancé; not about everyone else. Guys can help maintain an even keel during the planning process. Providing valuable input and suggestions doesn’t just prevent you from appearing detached and disinterested, but it can rescue your fiancé from feeling stranded alone in a multitude of decisions for the Big Day.

Take charge of the groomsmen’s suit fittings, buy each of them a thank you present ahead of time, and even volunteer to organize the rehearsal dinner. Every bit helps.

Plan the honeymoon. One great project for a groom is to plan the honeymoon. You obviously know enough about each other’s interests (and your budget) to choose a place where you’ll both be happy. Keep in mind that the destination is less important than the fact that the honeymoon will represent a chance to celebrate — and unwind — after the wedding. Instead of rushing off the night of or day after the wedding, consider leaving two or three after days later. It’ll save you from feeling rushed, and you’ll be able to see off guests with plenty of time.

Give guidance on the bachelor party. While the planning of the bachelor party is left in the hands of the best man, it’s important that a groom provide some degree of guidance on what he would — or would not — like to do. Make sure it’s going to be a day you’ll enjoy. There’s no fun in being compelled to take part in something you’re uncomfortable with or that would over-stretch the budgets of the other friends you’d like to attend.

Ask for help from the groomsmen. On the Big Day, consider your groomsmen to be your personnel directors. While you’ll of course be grateful for the good wishes coming from friends and family, there’s nothing wrong with allowing some time prior to the service to collect yourself. Ask your best man to be in charge of corralling you away from guests when it’s time to get ready. A calming, celebratory drink with your groomsmen prior to the wedding is a great idea — just don’t over imbibe.

Prepare the suite. Finally, make advance arrangements for your honeymoon suite. Call the hotel in advance and arrange for champagne or flowers to be in the room upon your arrival. It will make for an especially sweet gesture at the end of a long, memorable day.

By Evan Kanarakis